Humans are fundamentally wired with 4 needs – connection, belonging, growth and contribution.
Most often we experience these through the work that we do, because let’s face it, we spend two thirds of our lives at work!
When all of these things are active in our lives we feel whole. We feel like all is right in the world. When even ONE of them is missing we can feel off, without knowing why.
And if you feel ‘off’ for any reason YOU are not alone! We live in a world of unfulfilled humans who are wanting more for themselves for different reasons.
What’s the gap for you?
Here is an example of my gap. When I was in my long term career working for the government as a career coach I was contributing in a significant way, changing people’s lives every day and THAT made my heart sing. I felt like I belonged to a brilliant team of colleagues whose deep down desire was to work toward a common goal. I felt a meaningful connection to both my clients and my team. HOWEVER, I felt as if I was stifled from growing and expanding my abilities and potential.
When I recognized this I started focusing on ways that I could personally grow to fulfill this need inside myself. I started exploring HOW I could find small ways to experience growth within the context of my career and life, which inevitably led to change. At first the change was within the context of the current career I had and this led me to larger changes where I continued to grow beyond my 9-5.
This ONE component of growth was missing, and THAT was enough to have me feeling unfulfilled and saying to myself “there must be something more”.
Connection, belonging, growth and contribution are ALL generative and must be consistently FED in order for us to feel whole.
Have you ever stopped to ponder what might be missing for you? If not you can ask yourself these questions about what need isn’t being met:
Do you have meaningful, reciprocal conversations and relationships where you feel TRULY seen and heard in your community, at work, in your family or neighborhood?
Do you feel as though your true values align with those around you, and when you are together there is a sense of welcoming and knowing that you are in the right place or in sync with one another?
Do you have room to learn and grow mentally, emotionally, spiritually? Is there opportunity for you to create from what you learn?
Are you able to share ideas and opinions knowing that those you share with are receptive and more than happy to engage with your contributions?
Find the places where you DO feel that these areas of need are met in your life and work, and where they DON’T.
Make these discoveries your starting point and let them be your catalyst for making changes (even if small ones at first).
After all, when you know WHY you want to make changes, it’s easier to commit!